All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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