how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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