there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im holly from the hills drunk
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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