I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
