I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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