she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
