How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
3 2 1 whiskey
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
