she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
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You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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