shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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