stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
