i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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