two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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