Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
