yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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