After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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