Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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