they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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