these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
