I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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