is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
