You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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