I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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