So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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