There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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