love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
