so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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