Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Even my vagina gasped.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
