Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
