My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
