I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
