cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
