doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
