soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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