I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
