is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
