4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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