I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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