Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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