how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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