And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
