i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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