Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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