i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
