Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize