I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
