Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
