Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
