Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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