my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
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I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
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She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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