i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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