There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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