it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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