dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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