I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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