so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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