I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize