I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize