how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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