That's intense
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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