There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We are all done wearing pants today
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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