they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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